Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Practicum Day 17

I got back home just about an hour ago.
It's so late already, but I still decide to post my blog instead of going to sleep.
Blog is now the best item I would say,
to make me feel better.

Okay, back to my topic.
Why am I so late?

I went to a market chat organised by OSK together with Bursa Malaysia.
The speakers of today are quite many.
Each speaker has only around 30 minutes.
There were representative from Bursa Malaysia, OSK Investment Bank, Hunza Property and Ivory Property.
It was a great market chat.
But, I didn't fully enjoy.


One of the reasons about my practicum.
My work kept appearing in my mind.
I couldn't really put my focus to enjoy the market chat.
That's why I say, I couldn't live in the investment life I want due to my practicum.
If I like my work, I don't think I couldn't enjoy that market chat.
But the fact is, I hate that job.
Not to say hate, but the most suitable word should be fear.
I scare of the job.

Even worse,
sometimes, I don't feel that I am living in my life.
I want my life back!

More than 5 months to go.
It's quite a long time you know.
And I am mentally suffering.
I don't mind to be physically suffering,
such as tiredness.
Mentally suffer is something that I consider as one of the terrible things in life.

My friend told me,
'you may fail in your company, but don't fail yourself.'
That is a good motivation sentence.
But, it fails to motivate me.
I am getting nearer to self-failure.

What to do?
I can just be waiting.

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