Monday, 31 December 2007

Brother, all the best in NS!

My brother went to national service yesterday. I didn’t follow him to PISA. Before I slept the day before, I wrote a wish to him. I hope everything is going all right in the camp.

When my first woke up, my brother just almost woke up. But, I slept again. After I woke up again, he has left. He left a message for me about computer.

Suddenly, he sent me a message and asked me to tell my dad that the bus had just departed. My dad wasn’t back yet, they went to Sungai Petani. After I saw the message, I was feeling missing of my brother. I actually love my brother. I dropped a little tear.

Maybe it will be few months we won’t meet; I hope he is happy in there!

Friday, 28 December 2007

28 Morning

I back to sleep at between 4a.m. to 4.30a.m.

Luckily, I could back to sleep, or else I think I am going to sick.

After I woke up, my mood doesn’t turn better. I am not sure when my mood can change better. Tomorrow is a key, if something bad happen tomorrow in my plan, I am definitely will have a sad ending. If good things happen, my mood might be able to maintain until New Year. One thing I am sure, the day I am going back to UUM, my mood will be extremely bad!

I am going to see ‘chinese doctor’ again later. I am not sure when I can successfully recover from my stomach illness. Recently, I got ulcer too. It’s painful when I put medicine. I have been putting medicine for few days, it didn’t turn better yet. I hope it will turn better today.

I have no plan today except going to see the doctor. I don’t know what I want to do, feeling boring.

A sleep can change everything around

Anything can happen in anytime. Sometime, a tiny thing can change everything round?

I went out today. I finished several things. I felt happy with it. I can be considered as quite happy today. Although I felt a little boring today, I was happy.

I was feeling tired. I fall asleep at about 10. I was sleeping for one hour and I woke up. Everything has change. From a happy, I fall down to a sad situation. A simple short sleep can change a lot of thing. It’s just one hour, but, few things had happened and change my mood all around. I failed to sleep again thereafter. I think I probably might stay until very late at night.

I also don’t know how to explain what have happened. And if I explained, maybe I will be considered as silly because such a thing can bring my mood down.

I don’t know how to continue my blog again. Last time, this blog is one of the ways for me to express my feeling. But now, I don’t know what to write to express my feeling. In other way, I might say that I don’t know what I am feeling now.

Tuesday, 25 December 2007

Merry Christmas

Hohoho, Merry Christmas.

But, I am not feeling merry at all! I slept early last night (10 o’clock).

Last time, I will definitely waiting for 12a.m.! Not only Christmas, but most of the celebration. But now, I didn’t even stay awake till 12 o’clock for Chinese New Year this year. I am wondering whether I will stay awake until 12 o’clock in the coming New Year?

Don’t know why, when there is celebration, I will be feeling lonely. I couldn’t really describe the feeling.

I am now at 5a.m. in the morning. I work up more than 1 hour ago. I don’t know how to continue. So, that’s all.

A Day of BAnk

I went to Bank Islam to pay up my hostel fee, RM25 + RM0.50. What’s the RM0.50? It’s to be paid for Bank Islam, some sort of service charge. I don’t really like the service of Bank Islam.

After I settled my Bank Islam’s stuff, I went to New World Park to have my lunch and waiting for Wei Loon to come fetch me. When I was waiting, my stomach was feeling not well, maybe it was because I didn’t take my medicine yet. Wei Loon came and we cancelled the planning of going Gurney Plaza. We went to the Maybank at Farlim. First, I bank in a check, dividend of PBA. This is my first time bank in check with the machine. I didn’t really know how to do it, I planned to ask from the customer service but nobody is there. So, I asked from the guard and he taught me, his service is good, gain some marks for Maybank. Thereafter, we want to ask about maybank2u. Wei Loon and I have forgotten the password and we want to ask how to recover it. When we were walking to the counter, we pass by a person. That person was filling the form of check deposing. He was depositing the dividend too. Guess which company is the dividend from? Haha! It was from PBA too, he hold the same amount as my account too!

After asking, everything done, and we went to KFC to talk. Wei Loon gave me a Christmas present when I reached home. Thanks to him.

Monday, 24 December 2007

23rd December 2007

Today, after I woke up, something appeared suddenly into my brain. There are some things I have been chasing, and I think that I am just chasing the dream. It’s really almost impossible that I can make those things. I always hope I can give up the dream and wake up to reality, but always, my heart doesn’t allow me to do so.

After we had our breakfast, we start house cleaning. I threw a lot of things today. I was wondering will I regret in future or not. Those are my old stuffs; it gives me some of my old memories. I had ever thrown 2 books that I am regretting now.

While cleaning, I did recall back a lot of things while I was seeing my old things. I felt sad and regretting of several things. I had really made lot mistakes in the past. But, what to do, I don’t have time machine, I couldn’t change the past. If I was given a chance to go back to the past, I would like to go back to standard 5. I want to continue learning drawing and abacus.

Again, I was feeling sad again when I was thinking about university today. I almost think about university everyday recently. I really dislike going back. Moreover, I have to attend co-curriculum next semester, I have less time doing my things. Moreover, I need internet a lot recently! I really don’t know how I am going to continue my thing inside university. I have to really plan carefully.

Saturday, 22 December 2007


Day after day, time passes away. It’s about 2 weeks to go until the day that I have to back to university. I don’t hope to leave. I have a lot of things to do in Penang. The worse is, I probably leave Penang on the first Friday of year 2008. I have thing to do on the Saturday! It’s suck!

If I think back, UUM changed a lot of my life.

Firstly, I lost my spirit in doing my things. In university, the boredom, the loneliness, have brought me to laziness. Always, I lay on the bed and think of nothing! It’s totally a waste of time. It isn’t that I don’t want to do anything, just, I am kind of the person that will lost every energy I got when I feel lonely. The last 3 months of my STPM, that was my first time so hardworking to study. I never study properly during examination period since I enter secondary school. I studied properly during my STPM is because I was feeling that there are people beside me, supporting me. I got such great result in STPM, I should really thanks to 2 persons. They are really helping me a lot. I think they definitely know that they had helped me, but they did. But in UUM, I feel like I am living outside of all my friends, I feel like nobody around me. I am fighting lonely.

Secondly, UUM changed a lot of my plans. Last time, I used to watch ‘The Apprentice’. It was my favourite show! I have no right to miss any episode! After each episode I watched, I search for the summary from internet, and I copied it by HAND! My friends said me crazy. Some say that it was just a programme, why I take it like homework. Some say why I don’t just print. Well, for many people, The Apprentice might be only entertainment. But, I am different, The Apprentice might be the key of my success in future. I pay attention on every episode and hoping that I can gain as much knowledge I can from it. But now, I couldn’t catch up watching The Apprentice.

Thirdly, because of UUM, it crashed me into a big cash flow problem. I am suffering in it. I have no choice to cut down all my expenditure and spending time of solving it. Because of it, I have less time spending on my friends. Most of my friend has mean downgraded. The ‘downgraded’ I mean is, from best friend become good friend, from good friend become a normal friend. There are few downgraded friend that I really felt sad of. Until now, I am not only couldn’t solve my problem, my problem is getting worse.

I hate my university life! I WILL NEVER FORGET IT!

Friday, 21 December 2007

21st December 2007

My cousin came from Johor. She was 9 years old. This was the first time I met her. Her 2 elder sisters didn’t come. I played with her, quite fun. I was bullied by her. She was sticking with me always, wants me to play with her. Last night, she didn’t want to sleep if I didn’t sleep. Therefore, I couldn’t stay till the late.

I went to Queensbay yesterday, I was talking with my friend quite a lot things. It’s quite nice.

Today is already 21st December. Everyday I see the calendar, the number increase 1. That represent that the day I stay in Penang reduce one day. I am going back to UUM soon. I have too much things that I haven’t settle yet. I hope time can be slowed down. I was finding something important recently! I hope I could find it by the end of year! But now, it seems like the possibility is very low.

What am I going to do today? I am not sure. My leg has gone worse than yesterday. It became more painful. I have no idea how to cure it. Maybe I shouldn’t go out today.

2 days ago, I have finally deal with ‘welovepenang’ blog. I will be the translator for that blog. I hope I can being a good translator.

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

18 DEC 2007

There has been a period of time that I didn’t update my blog. It is my black December. There are a lot of things happened and I have been thinking of a lot of things.

I have finished watching heroes season 2. My friend introduced that drama to me. It is really a nice drama; I couldn’t wait to watch the next episode after I had watched one. The characters I like are Mohinder Suresh and Mr. Benneth. They don’t have special ability, but I like them. They are clever. I admire clever guy.

Well, what could I say next? I have no written blog for a long time, I didn’t know what to write next, there are too much things happened.

3 weeks to go, I am going back UUM. I hate that very much! I dislike UUM, I hope I could graduate tomorrow. I don’t like the life there, it is kind of wasting my time. There is no internet in my room, I have to walk to somewhere which has internet to online. Sometimes, when I reach the place, I failed to get online, the line is really lousy. Without internet, there are a lot of things I couldn’t do. Besides I did spend my time in reading book. However, when I am reading in a boring environment, I am used to thinking my past, feeling regret of what have I done, it’s kind of suffering. Sometimes, I did go my friend room to talk. But, most of people I know in UUM are those who like to play games. They play DOTA from time to time. I have wasted too much time in playing game during form 4 and form 5. I don’t want to waste any more time in game. Therefore, it is sometime quite hard for me to mix with people in UUM.

I went for Chinese doctor 2 days ago. He said that I have to take care of it for a period of time. He gave me medicine. It’s pill. Sometimes, I have to take 7 pills and sometime might be 15. When I need to take three times and 15 pills a day, I have to take 45 pills a day! It’s kind of a lot!

It’s 6a.m., I want to back to my sleep, I woke up 30 minutes ago, thinking of something and writing this blog.