Sunday, 18 March 2012

Running To Ease My Emo

Note: this photo was taken few weeks ago

It's going to be another emotional post.

Again, it's because of my work. I found a lot of obstacles in my word and I am tired dealing with it. Just like I posted in previous post, that I am not belonging to audit, I really wonder how long can I stand in audit.

I started to have the feeling during my internship, the moody feeling that makes me lose a lot of energy.

This morning, after I woke up, I tried to use my time wisely. I started to do some analysis on some companies for my investment straight away after I woke up. But after my lunch, my mood was getting down. Then I didn't continue my investment research. I took out my dairy and read it. I recalled a lot of memories in my past especially those during my Form 6 life. I am now quite different from Form 6, it's really a lot of differences. I really wish that I could be like last time. I wish that the old LuPorTi can come back.

After reading for a time, I decided to go for jogging already. I actually invited a friend to jog at 4pm, but suddenly feel to go it earlier.

I departed at 3 something. I jogged at Ayer Itam Dam. I walked from bottom until the top of the Dam. It has been years that I didn't walked up from bottom. Normally my friends and I will go up by car or motorcycle, then only we jog on the top.

I was waiting my friend for a moment before started my jog. Until I finished my jog and planned to go back, my friend didn't show up. I have just known after dinner that he was sick and fallen asleep.

Actually I wished to meet up and have a talk with him. Nowadays, I really don't know who should I talk to. I wish to express my feeling, but hardly get a suitable person for me to do so. He may be a suitable person. He was my best friend in MBS during my Form 6. We did a lot of things together.

It has been a long time we didn't do a complete jogging on Ayer Itam Dam. the last time was exactly 6 years ago. 18 March 2006, we were on there. Before we jogged, we talked a lot of things. We talked about our future. And thereafter, he decided to quit study. I guess that day was one of the most crucial days in our life. So I decided to invite him for a jog today. But unfortunately, he was sick.

Anyway, I never went to Ayer Itam Dam for exercise for so long like today before. I left home at 3 something. Guess what time I reached home? I reached home at 7 pm.

Anyway, I am really feeling a little bit exhausted. But it's good I guess. I actually try to make myself feeling more exhausted so that I can have a nice sleep tonight. It has been a long time I never has a nice sleep. My sleeping period is getting shorter and I made a lot of dreams during my sleep. And, seriously, I dreamed a lot of my job.

When can I get out from all of this? When?

I have said in my "I Am Not Belonging To Audit" post that I decided to leave the sector of audit, it's just the matter of time now. I guess I may work until this peak period is over. Some of my friends started to ask what job will I go for after this? Well, I can only say, it's going to be a more peaceful work.


  1. sigh.. i just feel that the main root of what our worries was just trying so hard to earn money right in the end?

  2. Guess jogging may be a great way of de-stressing, if u like to exercise. For me it's shopping. Lol! Hope all your worries & frustrations will go away soon :)

    1. Oh? So you are used to shopping when you are in stress?

  3. Hey, i alwas exoerience same feeling too, tired, exhausted, hopeless, not energytic to move on on my audit work, talk with frens is a best way to release stress and enjoying drama. It make me release tension and can get sleep easily. I always dream abt work too like all the due date..just recently also the same. Quite stressful life make myself getting older and tired :p now i m looking for a change in career too. Life not easy and we hav to going on by keep motivate ourself!!! U can made it d :-) jia you ya!!!

    1. Sorry for noticing this comment late. Thanks for your support!