I played badminton yesterday. I played badly; it was totally out of my satisfaction. It’s really obvious that my badminton skill is dropping. Back to 2 years ago, or even 5 years ago. My performance was quite consistent. But my performance now is really inconsistent. I might perform very well in the today and perform terribly in the second day. Or, I might perform very great in beginning but end up with lousy playing or vice versa.
After I woke up this morning, I was thinking for a period of time. Not only my badminton skill is dropping, it seemed to be most of my thing is dropping. I was a person good in controlling emotion in the past, I can stay positive all the time. But now, what has happened to me? I stay negative most of the time. I get angry, disappointed and sad easily. In the past, I always tell my friend to do things rationally. Yes, doing thing rationally, am I doing thing rationally now? I guess most are emotionally.
Talk about my investment, I started my first stock on March last year. Within three months time I had have 20% of return. My portfolio grew in a way better than what I have expected. After I got into UUM, something happened to me, it leaded me to irrationally decision. Ended up, what have happened? I am currently had a loss of RM1600! RM1600! For an adult investor, it will be only a small number, but for me, that’s totally a huge number! I have no idea how to bounce back.
Fast reaction of mind was one of my strength in the past. When I at something, I can think it quickly. Now, is that still strength of mine? I spent 1 week time to decide a small matter! It’s such like spending 1 hour time to think whether to bed on 10p.m. or 10.10p.m.
I have completely sunk! When I started to write blog, I actually hoped to express all my feeling from here. But my mind is completely mess! I sometime don’t know what am I thinking. I sometimes failed to control it.
I am not hoping much now, I just how the previous LuPorTi will be back.