23rd December 2007

Today, after I woke up, something appeared suddenly into my brain. There are some things I have been chasing, and I think that I am just chasing the dream. It’s really almost impossible that I can make those things. I always hope I can give up the dream and wake up to reality, but always, my heart doesn’t allow me to do so.

After we had our breakfast, we start house cleaning. I threw a lot of things today. I was wondering will I regret in future or not. Those are my old stuffs; it gives me some of my old memories. I had ever thrown 2 books that I am regretting now.

While cleaning, I did recall back a lot of things while I was seeing my old things. I felt sad and regretting of several things. I had really made lot mistakes in the past. But, what to do, I don’t have time machine, I couldn’t change the past. If I was given a chance to go back to the past, I would like to go back to standard 5. I want to continue learning drawing and abacus.

Again, I was feeling sad again when I was thinking about university today. I almost think about university everyday recently. I really dislike going back. Moreover, I have to attend co-curriculum next semester, I have less time doing my things. Moreover, I need internet a lot recently! I really don’t know how I am going to continue my thing inside university. I have to really plan carefully.

I HATE MY UNIVERSITY LIFE!

Day after day, time passes away. It’s about 2 weeks to go until the day that I have to back to university. I don’t hope to leave. I have a lot of things to do in Penang. The worse is, I probably leave Penang on the first Friday of year 2008. I have thing to do on the Saturday! It’s suck!

If I think back, UUM changed a lot of my life.

Firstly, I lost my spirit in doing my things. In university, the boredom, the loneliness, have brought me to laziness. Always, I lay on the bed and think of nothing! It’s totally a waste of time. It isn’t that I don’t want to do anything, just, I am kind of the person that will lost every energy I got when I feel lonely. The last 3 months of my STPM, that was my first time so hardworking to study. I never study properly during examination period since I enter secondary school. I studied properly during my STPM is because I was feeling that there are people beside me, supporting me. I got such great result in STPM, I should really thanks to 2 persons. They are really helping me a lot. I think they definitely know that they had helped me, but they did. But in UUM, I feel like I am living outside of all my friends, I feel like nobody around me. I am fighting lonely.

Secondly, UUM changed a lot of my plans. Last time, I used to watch ‘The Apprentice’. It was my favourite show! I have no right to miss any episode! After each episode I watched, I search for the summary from internet, and I copied it by HAND! My friends said me crazy. Some say that it was just a programme, why I take it like homework. Some say why I don’t just print. Well, for many people, The Apprentice might be only entertainment. But, I am different, The Apprentice might be the key of my success in future. I pay attention on every episode and hoping that I can gain as much knowledge I can from it. But now, I couldn’t catch up watching The Apprentice.

Thirdly, because of UUM, it crashed me into a big cash flow problem. I am suffering in it. I have no choice to cut down all my expenditure and spending time of solving it. Because of it, I have less time spending on my friends. Most of my friend has mean downgraded. The ‘downgraded’ I mean is, from best friend become good friend, from good friend become a normal friend. There are few downgraded friend that I really felt sad of. Until now, I am not only couldn’t solve my problem, my problem is getting worse.

I hate my university life! I WILL NEVER FORGET IT!

21st December 2007

My cousin came from Johor. She was 9 years old. This was the first time I met her. Her 2 elder sisters didn’t come. I played with her, quite fun. I was bullied by her. She was sticking with me always, wants me to play with her. Last night, she didn’t want to sleep if I didn’t sleep. Therefore, I couldn’t stay till the late.

I went to Queensbay yesterday, I was talking with my friend quite a lot things. It’s quite nice.

Today is already 21^st December. Everyday I see the calendar, the number increase 1. That represent that the day I stay in Penang reduce one day. I am going back to UUM soon. I have too much things that I haven’t settle yet. I hope time can be slowed down. I was finding something important recently! I hope I could find it by the end of year! But now, it seems like the possibility is very low.

What am I going to do today? I am not sure. My leg has gone worse than yesterday. It became more painful. I have no idea how to cure it. Maybe I shouldn’t go out today.

2 days ago, I have finally deal with ‘welovepenang’ blog. I will be the translator for that blog. I hope I can being a good translator.

18 DEC 2007

There has been a period of time that I didn’t update my blog. It is my black December. There are a lot of things happened and I have been thinking of a lot of things.

I have finished watching heroes season 2. My friend introduced that drama to me. It is really a nice drama; I couldn’t wait to watch the next episode after I had watched one. The characters I like are Mohinder Suresh and Mr. Benneth. They don’t have special ability, but I like them. They are clever. I admire clever guy.

Well, what could I say next? I have no written blog for a long time, I didn’t know what to write next, there are too much things happened.

3 weeks to go, I am going back UUM. I hate that very much! I dislike UUM, I hope I could graduate tomorrow. I don’t like the life there, it is kind of wasting my time. There is no internet in my room, I have to walk to somewhere which has internet to online. Sometimes, when I reach the place, I failed to get online, the line is really lousy. Without internet, there are a lot of things I couldn’t do. Besides I did spend my time in reading book. However, when I am reading in a boring environment, I am used to thinking my past, feeling regret of what have I done, it’s kind of suffering. Sometimes, I did go my friend room to talk. But, most of people I know in UUM are those who like to play games. They play DOTA from time to time. I have wasted too much time in playing game during form 4 and form 5. I don’t want to waste any more time in game. Therefore, it is sometime quite hard for me to mix with people in UUM.

I went for Chinese doctor 2 days ago. He said that I have to take care of it for a period of time. He gave me medicine. It’s pill. Sometimes, I have to take 7 pills and sometime might be 15. When I need to take three times and 15 pills a day, I have to take 45 pills a day! It’s kind of a lot!

It’s 6a.m., I want to back to my sleep, I woke up 30 minutes ago, thinking of something and writing this blog.

Don't know what title can i put

I would like to share one phase of success in mandarin.

看破生死者成功,看通爱情金钱者开心.

Life, money and love are usually taken as topic to discuss as which is more important. All three are actually important. All three play it own role, we can’t compare it. Such as, can we compare whether Lin Dan is better or David Beckham? Both are in different arena, we can’t compare it, they play their own role in their own arena.

Well, I am not planning to explain the quote, because I can’t be like the quote yet.

I went to Queensbay Mall yesterday. When I am about to leave Borders, I heard two people were talking. They are talking about the share! I hope I can join them. However, as usual, I am weak in stranger approach, it’s totally impossible for me to say, “excuse me, can I join your talk?” I couldn’t make it. Well, I actually hoped to listen to them till they finished. But, I scared my friend waited me too long. Therefore, I decided to leave.

I thought of quite a lot thing recently. It’s hard to say in word.

I am chasing for my success for a period of time. In this journey, I have lost a lot of things. I am trying to save every cent so that I have more money to make my investment. I have made a lot of wrong investment because I want to succeed faster. I am sometimes asking myself, ‘is this the correct decision?’ There are a lot of my friends enjoy their life very much. They spend the money they have with friends. They have an enjoyable teenage moment. I hope my dream can come true.